Do we shake the hand of nature, or society’s?

Is human being defined by design of nature, or by imprinting of society?

Over the course of the centuries human being has given himself a blanket to cover his definition that inevitably would have become too short: eventually, the baby grew and we would need a new one. Ancient Greeks needed philosophy to explain human restless nature. Christians religion, to explain his wonder and destiny.
Church Counter reform, Renaissance and Enlightenment introduced, each in different ways, reason and nature as a major definition: We got secularism. “God is dead” as Nietzsche said. Science explains human nature by genes, by DNA. Neuroscience tells us that we’re all about neurons and chemical mechanistic reactions. Sociology, psychology and psychoanalysis, at the turn of the last century, imposed the heavy hand of culture and society’s legacy upon us.

But somehow, all these answers always provide with fulfilling but temporary definitions, until the next one comes up. Nowadays, globalization provides new cognitive elements for the mind to define their psyche: Internet and media convergence provide a cognitive platform for the brain to work on an horizontal level, rather than on a “vertical” one, an in-depth analysis belonging to the “Guttenberg” era: we “surf” on Internet. we work by links. The same show can be watched on different platforms, like Internet, cells, TV, i pods, video games. Kids’ attention, as well TV audience’s attention spam, remarkably shrinks in light of a growing brain’s ability to juggle multitasks activities  as we simultaneously text, listening to the i-pod, while downloading a video from youtube. 
Do children  grow up with a different use of the brain? How does this affect our definition of human being ?

With such boost of  secularism made of technology and science, human being is able to find lots of brand new answers to ancient and atavic existential questions. Nevertheless, contextually, such a sudden boost of technology scares us, paradoxically bringing us to look for comforting answers away from reality. Like  religion.
In the US, president Bush won the second term election because of the so called bible belt’s vote.
In the Middle East, terrorism (too often, with the aid and support of heads of state) exploits and speculates on Muslim religion to leverage poor people to attack western countries, whereas, in reality, Muslim religion is a peaceful one.
In any case, whether for political or existential reasons, religion seems to have a major come back. If you look up on IMDB.com, amidst the overall top 10 rank in movies, ” The passion” is the only actual movie about a real fact. All the rests are mostly cartoons, like Shrek. People feel lost, unsettle within a scary and confusing reality and in need of a shelter, something that doesn’t make them think. Unless it’s religion.
After political ideologies definitely died after the Berlin wall fall, after Fukuyama’s “end of history”, the pope, regardless of your religion, or appreciation for him, is objectively the only  “ideological leader” capable to gather thousands of people.
So my question is, how do we redefine human being in the wake of such a golden age of post- secularism, where, on one hand, technology and science have improved human life and discovered the apparent real nature of human behavior and design,  and on the other hand, God may have not been dead, but actually “resuscitated”, because of the paradoxical people’s sense of confusion and fear about current modern high tech society?

Modern Love on Sunday morning

Finally, after a long period of forced fasting abroad, today I got to enjoy the Sunday New York Times edition at Starbucks, coming with a Grande hot chai tea latte with skim milk, a slice of bluberry cake, or espresso chocolate brownie and a good dose of intriguing curiosity to watch people hanging out in New York on Sunday morning.

After assaulting the thick paper sandwich from the book review, the Week review and Thomas Friedman’s editorial, I get to the only Style Section’s column worth reading and that’s where my masochistic instinct to somehow enjoy my melancholy kicks in: through the words of the “Modern Love” Column.

How come that according to this weekly column, written by different people telling about past, defining love experiences, the concept of modern love mostly hinges upon lack of communication, incomprehension, loneliness and unmet expectations?

Why does ” Modern Love” solely comprehend a lonely and consuming experience according to the NY times?

Following, one of my favorite “Modern Love” columns for writing and content on the Sunday Ny times:

“When the Thunder Rolls in, My Lie Rolls Out”
By AMY O’LEARY
Published: September 10, 2006

The first time I said it, I thought it was the best kind of lie: tender and considerate.
My boyfriend and I were lounging in bed as a gust of wind from one of those sweeping Midwestern thunderstorms crashed against the flimsy picture window of our rural Minnesota apartment. Our relationship was in trouble, and that’s when the lie came to me.

Conjunctives and conditionals don’t make reality.

I have good moves on the dance floor, but I never pursued dancing.

I took dance class for a few months, years ago. 

Funk class. It was fun, but didn’t last.  

I have a good voice, but I never pursued singing.

I went to a few auditions. I passed one, but then I didn’t want to continue.

I’m a good word juggler, perhaps better in Italian, but that doesn’t make me a writer.

Always received everybody’s applause for my words and took a few writing classes in college, but never seriously pursued the career. I did an internship at the AP in college and APTN called me afterward for a temporary substitution, but I had a block and never really proposed all the stories I would have wanted to.

Should have, could have, would have takes you nowhere in life, so I took the bull by the horns, I guess in English is the same expression we have in Italian and I stopped this process.

I’m a good runner, so one day, I stopped and decided to do it for real and on November 4th I will run my third marathon, the first in New York City.

I’m a good manager at work, I’m committed, so one day I decided to  pursue my career even if underpaid, because it was worth it. It worked and then I left. Not only the job, but the opportunity of a potential dream career, at least in Rome.

I’m trying to make it in the States, not only in my head, but for real.With my hands.

Scared? A little, what if I didn’t find what I want? Conjunctives are as useless as conditional to make it in this world. Better remorses than regrets in life.

A dear friend of mine today was sad and depressed because her contract job is about to end in a month. And then what? She’s really good and she has a lot of different skills, but she’s indolent, perhaps because of her inner fear, I don’t know, but she tends to stop a step right before.

Of course, there’s always an excuse to stop a step before, I found millions in the past and I continue to, because what if, by mistake, that final step is going to be successful. Then, you are forced to complete your idea and turn it into reality. Chinese used to say”don’t aspire too hard to something, because you might get it for real one day”.

Now, I’m ready, not because I’m not scared or, insecure to do something. I guess I just realized that I will never be ready if that means not to be scared to try something.

I’m ready because I can accept my insecurities and fear to accompany myself along my challenges. That’s why I know I’m ready and I hope that my dear friend will be ready as well for her journey. Good luck my dear, precious Giulia.

 I have good moves on the dance floor, but I never pursued dancing.

I have a good voice, but I never pursued singing.

I’m a good word juggler, but that doesn’t make me a writer.

Not yet.

Now, I’m a runner and on Nov4th I’m going to run a marathon.

Pickataboo!

What are the real taboos in our daily life?

We all have secrets that we conveniently hide from the others; darker spots on our immaculate  resume that we constantly promote to market ourselves to our clients out there: lovers, friends, even family, co-workers that just need to perceive us in the best way possible.  But those are not taboos. They’re simply secrets that we make sure to  keep as inside as possible. Insecurities?  We hide them, or at the most, counter balance with some obnoxious behaviour; guys’ machism, for example, or girls’ snobbism (in Italian slang, we would say that they think they’re the only ones to have “it”).

But they’re not disturbing. They’re frustrating. 

Instead, what about that sense of disquitness, that disturbing feeling  insinuating into every pore of our confidence, making us so unbearably exposed before our own defenses?

We don’t dare to walk on such shaking and sensitive  ground. It’s too uncomfortable. We don’t dare  to allow those vulnerable thoughts not even remotely close to our secured life.

Why? Are those thoughts the ultimate fear, disquitness, trauma?

Once, it took me about 2 years before I could even pronounce out loud my ex girl friend’s name without feeling my tears pushing and kicking to come out of my eyes, already humid; I would be simply talking to a friend and, as a random train of thought would take me to her memory, I would need to pause, breathe and push my tears as far down as possible, far, back to that damn day of two years before. It took me almost 3 years to melt away my resentment toward her; every day, I would have simply wanted to make her suffer as much as I could, had God only given me the chance to.

4 years later, about last year, I wake up in New York, on a beautiful sunny morning. I’m working on my next production for the week later and out of the blue, I contact her. I just wanted to. I simply felt to. What the heck, why not! No tears, no resentment, but a lovely and relieving  conversation about our lives: “Is that you, for real?” she says not really believing to that random  ”Smile76″ popping up on the other side of an IM window. “Yes, it’s me, you don’t believe me? Ask me something that we could only know, then”. “Ok, then” She types. “What was your favorite pair of sleepers at home?” ” The lion ones, of course” I answer as I have never been more confident before about something- “Holy Cow, my stomach just flipped, it’s really you then, Daniele” she screams. At least that’s how I imagine her inner reaction on the other side of that window… I hadn’t  thought of those damn lion sleepers for more than 4 years. She had given me those sleepers as a gift. It must have been 1999, or something. I used to meticolously put them by the bed. Every morning. I wouldn’t make the bed of course, damn she used to be so desperately irritated about it- I guess responsibility wasn’t exactly a learnt lesson yet at that time- but those sleepers, they would always be in perfect order, right on that wooden floor. Wow, I hadn’t seen those lions in my mind for ever. But as she asked me, it took me less than a second to recall that familiar answer from my memories.

Today,  she’s happily married to the man I had practically busted her with on that day of five years ago. She has such a cute child  now, and I no longer have Nicole’s taboo. Only a lovely memory of a woman I once had truly loved and that I proudly respect now. 

If you can wait, eventually time is a gentleman. Yes, indeed.

Pickataboo!  What’s yours? 

Now, it’s finally the ultimate Spring “Break” for hormons!

That’s the cherry on top of my long work day ending  at 1 am. I finally open the newspaper to see how more entertaining the world got today and here it is, the ultimate boost of optimism, right before going to bed:  Seasonal Affective Disorder, also known as SAD,  the latest and almost unknown type of depression caused by Spring, as the changes in light-dark affect the production of neurotransmitters in our brain, like serotonin and hormones, like melatonin, both responsible in regulating our mood. Can it get any better? Now science is telling us that in spring our mood may  change not because  hormones make us all fall in love like crazy, but actually because they turn us off and make us depressed. Great, I can’t wait for summer now.  Are we all gonna turn into  suicidals in June?

Marc Hauser, professor of psychology and evolutionary biology at Harvard University, in his book “Moral Minds- how nature designed our universal sense of right and wrong” claims that our brain is capable to automatically originate the roots of a natural moral system on which our cultural nurturing eventually applies the specific ethical parameters developed by society. Interesting right? It gets better. Infants, regardless the gender,  appear to have inside core notions, such as geometrical and mathematical principles that come as “forms of knowledge that human beings get for free”, says on an article from “The NewYorker” Mrs. Spelke, professor of cognitive psychology, once again, at Harvard University, conducting a study on how infants elaborate information from the outside world. It seems like the confirmation of Socrate’s theory about the possibility for an ignorant slave to actually have geometrical notions. So apparently, science has been increasingly explaining human being in light of Descartes’ res estensa. It’s all about the body, genes, neurons, chemicals and so on. Not that Descartes knew dna of course! that may be a stretch.

But then, a friend of mine sent me an L.A. Times article about an inmate who  have killed 3 policeman and slaughtered one guard in jail, painting with colors made out M&M’s. He mixes them together with other substances like coffee to obtain each shade of color. That turned out into an exhibit at which, of course, he wasn’t present.  So my question is, how is it possible that the emotional outcome of a murdering existence is decoded through the nuances of M&M’s colors used to depict a pastel and colorful world that apparently should not be so colorful in his mind? In other words, is human being defined by design of nature, as science has increasingly been explaining us, and religion practically imposing us, or can  human being also be defined by imprint of society? 

I’m not sure that the microcosm of human being can solely be explained with black and white mechanistic and deterministic theories of causes and effects applying to the macrocosm of the universe. Perhaps, those M&M’s colors, although produced by a sick mind, must reveal some more profound nuances in the human being, not only originating from nature, or society. Genes, god, nature, nurturing are only some of the answers that mankind has found over time. Depending on the historical period, we used all type of instruments such as philosophy, religion, science, psychology, sociology and now neurology. Every time, each one seems to perfectly cover the truth, like a comfortable blanket warming up a baby. At least, temporarily.The baby eventually grows up and you need a bigger blanket and a broader answer.

I started writing about the human being definition last summer, in a sort of draft/article that got to 15 pages so far and  now, this spring thing made me actually think about it again. I don’t think I’ll have the  time to finish it. At least not until next summer, when I’ll have some free time.

However, what I know is that now is Spring and I’m actually quite happy. Am I from Mars? Then I recently had a  close encounter of the third kind:)

Good night…